I wrote this post several years ago and just found it in my Draft folder just waiting to be said. It’s only gotten sweeter since then as we find ourselves in a big and empty nest deciding to look at life as our adventure-together-from-here. I’m so thankful for my sweet man. If you’re searching, don’t give up and whatever you do, do not settle for less than God’s very best for you.
He was middle-aged, graying, with glasses, and was thicker around his middle than I’m sure he wished.
She, nondescript — brown hair with a few gray stragglers.
That’s all I could tell from the back as they sat in front of me on a flight to Kansas City.
My husband and I were headed on a business trip to be present as an airplane our company had purchased was flown in from overseas.
We’d been up since 4:00am — long before the sun decided to wake up and drove 2 hours through ridiculously stressful crazy winter slush, witnessed a masterpiece of a sunrise from above the clouds, missed breakfast and coffee thanks to a broken down airport tram and subsequent jog through said airport, and were on our second and last flight for the day.
Sleepy, hungry, and decidedly under-caffeinated, I found myself people watching.
Despite the fact that he cleaned his ear with his finger and scratched his head too much (ew and hence the reason I fastidiously sanitize my little area of the plane), she settled her u-shaped pillow onto his shoulder without asking, knowing he wouldn’t mind, and collapsed sleepily. She remained there through pre-flight checks, memorized speeches about how to buckle a seat belt (?!), and take-off. He eventually adjusted a rolled up towel to try to get comfy and rest his own well-scratched head, but he stayed as still as possible — obviously choosing to avoid disturbing her rest.
He made her feel safe.
I know the feeling of needing my husband to hold me up — whether it’s my sleepy head on his shoulder, or birthing a baby, or weeping as my heart broke. I know he will. I know he will, and I know he’ll do it at his own expense if needed.
At this point, (some 26 years in) it’s way more than attraction. In fact, the attraction tends to follow the provision of security. Make no mistake, my man is exactly what I’ve always wanted, but it’s the WAY he treats me that draws me in.
It has nothing to do with money or our love-life (sorry, not sorry), or gray hairs or fingers without ear wax.
It’s about seeing a need and being willing to fill it. It’s about being caring and concerned with my well-being. It has everything to do with proving to be trustworthy.
That is the evolution of love.
That is loving a girl into a mother and then a grandmother. It’s not typically what the movies show.
He doesn’t need me to be anything I’m not, and we don’t need surgery or glittery things. I’ve never gotten flowers or jewelry as an apology like women do on TV — because some things just can’t be bought.
But I have gotten heartfelt, genuine, and humble apologies.
The flowers and jewelry mean more when they’re not attached to a negative.
Girls want the guy who will lovingly let their feet be in his lap, their head on his shoulder, and are willing to wear his heart on his sleeve. It’s that simple.
The other stuff is just fluff. Silliness that blows away like so many summer dandelion puffs.
We want real.
We want trustworthiness.
We want to be seen in our moments — good or bad.
We want to know your very soul and for you to love ours.
Just so ya know.