By the time you read this, it’ll be over.  Life will be back to normal.  What follows was written last week:
As a family, we try not to publicize via the interwebs when we travel.  Somehow, telling the world my house will be empty doesn’t rank high on my list of wise ideas.
This time, however, my house will not be empty.  It will be a party of ONE.  For the first time EVER, yours truly is having days to herself.  EVER, people.  For several reasons that I won’t bother mentioning, my family is going without me to Florida.  Yup, they are leaving Miss Sunshine herself at home alone in a snowstorm.  And, oddly, she is blissfully happy.
Since the days where I required supervision, I have fed people all day every day.  Every single day, I have cleaned up after,  made plans for, and worried about everyone here that I love to clean up after (okay–that’s not really true), make plans for, and worry about.  I do love it.  Don’t get me wrong.
But time alone?  IN MY HOUSE????  By myself??? 
I’m kinda excited. But, you may have caught that.
I have big plans that add up to this many.   ZERO.  NADA.  ZILCH.
I’m not really telling anyone I’m alone.  I don’t want to have lunch or go shopping or visit.  I want to lay around and pick my own movies to watch and my own food to eat.
And the snowstorm just kinda forces me to stay put.  Since I won’t be going out, I won’t even have to worry about what underwear the emergency room guys could possibly see me in so that won’t be a big decision every day.
(Yes, I do think about that every single morning.  Can you imagine? “Oh, my.  This poor woman only has these old comfy undies and no cute ones.”  You worry about this, too, right?)
I might not even shave my legs.  Pure rebellion right there.  Heck, I might even grow my Tom.  (That’s a nod both to Liz Lemon and Tom Selleck.  You figure it out.)
I’m gonna eat all the salad and avocados, garlic and BEANS that I want to and no one can stop me or beg for MEAT, or complain about the after-effects of said beans and garlic!  Livin’ large!  
I might read several books–IN THE BATHTUB!!!  And no one will interrupt the ending!
Celine Dion and I might belt out some tunes very loudly–in the LIVING ROOM!
I’m gonna stretch right out in my king-sized bed and sleep until I wake up.  No shoulds or ought tos  calling my name.
And, I’m thinking about two days into my revelry, I’m gonna desperately wish someone would give me a hug, or need some advice, or watch a movie with me.   I’ll have no one to wake up with me on Saturday morning and drink a cup of coffee with while we play a game.  No one to say, “What do you want to do today?”  No one to notice my great hair day (which I’ll inevitably have when no one’s looking).  No one to brighten my day with a smile and an “I love you, Momma!”
And when they come home, I will RUN, I know I will, to the ones who make my life the fantastic life it is.  These folks are worth every single bit of all that I have to offer. Bottom line, they are what matters.
But, in the meantime, I plan to thoroughly enjoy missing them like crazy.
Epilogue:
What I’ve learned.
Too many rice krispy treats can scratch your mouth all up.  Never knew that because I limited myself to the amount that you can eat and still be fair to everyone else.  Now I know.
I am never alone.  First of all, I have these silly, ridiculously high-maintenance pets that have kept me hopping by peeing the bed and other such nonsense.  Miss Scratch-A-Lot, our little allergy dog, requires a 24 hour watch patrol so she doesn’t scratch herself bloody.  Hard to feel bored with this one around!  I did rename all the pets while the family was gone.  That was kinda fun.  It’s kind of a fresh start for everyone!
Plus, I am texting so much to my people that aren’t in this house that I don’t have time to really miss them.  We really don’t do well without each other.  I really, really love that.  My thumbs…not so much.
I cook just as much without them here!  I really did buy myself all veggies with the exception of a bit of chicken and some gelato.  But, I guess I just enjoy creating good food too much to really stop.  Which makes dishes.  Darn.  This really isn’t a vacation.  Still chores to do–just fewer plates.
Life is about the people I love all around me.  Without them, what’s the point?  And I feel gratified in the deepest part of me that these folks of mine MISSED me!!  They genuinely missed my presence.  They even bought me gifts!  They said it wasn’t the same without me.  I must be doing something right.  Welcome home, family.
Same time next year?